Prolonging the anticipation of orgasm relies on a balance between the two branches of the nervous system—the conscious alternation of the sympathetic (arousal) and parasympathetic (resting) systems.
“Wave” management of stimulation Gradually increasing the intensity, periodically decreasing it, increasing it again—this wave approach maintains high levels of arousal for a long time, instead of reaching a peak all at once.
The role of attention Consciously focusing on bodily sensations (so-called mindful sex) — rather than thinking about the outcome — maintains arousal for longer, since anxiety and thinking about the future activate the sympathetic system in an undesirable way.
Verbal and nonverbal stimuli Talking, whispering, maintaining a slow pace—all of these help prolong the state of anticipation, as the brain is constantly receiving new sensory information.
When is it best to give up? Managing long waits isn't fun for everyone—for some, a direct, quick path to orgasm is a desirable experience in itself, and that's perfectly valid.